If I'm losing again, quiet me down
by Sevi007
Summary: Izuku could face down a killer to save his friend. He could smile through his fear. He could reassure his mother and his friends, smile for them, joke for them, even though he was tired and hurting. But he could never, ever lie to his mentor. (When Izuku breaks, All Might is there to pick up the pieces with him.)


**Title is a hint at the song "Quiet me down" by Ben Howard. Not mine.  
The fic is not beta-read yet, so please excuse any mistakes. I will check it again later.**

They had gotten one night. One night full of tossing and turning because they couldn't sleep. One night where they did not dare to close their eyes because every time they did, Stain's hideous snarl appeared in front of them. One night full of started whispers that trailed off because they didn't know what to say to each other apart from "I'm sorry" and "Thank you".

So it was no wonder that Izuku, Iida and Todoroki were equally beat and tired the next morning. And right after breakfast, when they wanted to do nothing more than try to sleep again, the stress began.

Nurses and doctors rushed in and out of their room, examining their wounds and asking them to perform a few tests to see if there was lasting damage done. Police officers came in and asked for their report as to what exactly had happened in their fight with the Hero Killer.

They were reprimanded by both their teachers and the police about their reckless behaviour, questioned about what had happened, and then reprimanded again. All that in between the tests they had to perform.

The boys did their best to excuse themselves for their recklessness and answer the questions in detail and truthfully, but the longer it took, the more Izuku wished it would just end. And he could see that his friends felt the same about it. They were tired and still shaken from what they had experienced. They just wanted a _break._

Imagine their relief when finally, one of the doctors sent everyone else out of the room.

"They need rest now," he explained to one of the policemen who had questioned them. "And we still need to do some tests to see how deep the injuries really are."

That seemed to do the trick, as they had the room to themselves very quickly after that.

"We will come to pick you up for your examinations," the doctor told them before leaving.

Once the last nurse had closed the door behind her, Todoroki groaned silently, rubbing one hand over his eyes. "Finally!"

Izuku would have laughed, if he hadn't felt so tired. So he just managed a crooked smile, while Iida agreed louder and lengthier.

Reaching for his phone, Izuku decided that he probably should call his mother and tell her a harmless version of what have happened. Just to warn her that he would come home with a bandaged arm and leg, but also telling her that it wasn't that bad.

Unlocking the screen of his phone, he looked down shortly, intending to just make that one call as fast as possible… only to stop short at what he saw there.

 _28 missed calls_

 _16 missed texts_

Izuku stared. Blinked a few times and stared some more.

Only then did the facts finally settle in completely and he said very loudly, " _What?!"_

"Midoriya?"

"Did something happen, Midoriya-kun?"

Instantly alarmed, Todoroki and Iida looked over at him, waiting for his reaction.

"I…," Izuku started, trailing off again as his gaze fell on the messages on his screen again. Twenty-eight calls and sixteen texts… that made over forty times someone had tried to contact him in the span of a few hours. "I have… a few missed calls."

Todoroki frowned, exchanging a quick glance with Iida. It was the Tenya-heir who spoke up slowly, "Well… is it someone you know? Or…?"

"Um. I think, I… I didn't check yet," still quite confused, Izuku opened his contact list and checked, scrolling through the names of those who had tried to call him.

 _Mum_

 _All Might_

 _Uraraka-san_

 _Tsuyu-chan_

 _Mineta-kun_

Added to this were the texts. Some of them were from the same people who had tried to call him, a sample of distressed and worried questions like:

 _ **Uraraka-san:**_ _Deku-kun, are you alright?_

 _ **Tsuyu-chan:**_ _Do you need our help, Izuku-chan?_

 _ **Mum:**_ _Izuku, what happened? Is everything alright?_

And other texts, all of them from his classmates. Some of them were just confused questions along the lines of:

 _ **Ashido-san:**_ _Mido-chan, do you need something?_

 _ **Kirishima-kun:**_ _Hey Midoriya, what's with that message? Wrong number?_

Others, however, made much more sense and suddenly, Izuku began to understand why exactly so many people had tried to call him:

 _ **Uraraka-san:**_ _Deku! I saw on TV what happened with the Hero Killer! That was the location you sent me, right? Wasn't Iida-kun nearby, too? Are you two alright? Please call me!_

 _ **Tsuyu-chan:**_ _Izuku-chan, did you get involved in that incident with the Hero Killer? Was that the reason why you sent that? I hope you are alright._

 _ **Mum:**_ _I just got a call from the hospital. They said you're hurt?! Well, they also said it's nothing too serious, but still… sweetie, please call me as soon as possible, okay?_

 _ **All Might:**_ _Midoriya my boy, if you read this, please call me._

A warm hand landed on his shoulder, causing Izuku to jump in surprise. When he looked up, Iida was standing next to him, gazing on his phone screen.

Luckily, Izuku had already closed the chat with All Might's name on it.

For a moment, Iida looked as surprised as Izuku felt, before he smiled warily. "You didn't call anyone yesterday evening, hm?"

"No… I kind of forgot about it," Izuku answered, truthfully. He had been so stressed out, tired and guilty feeling after that fight and the following reprimand he had gotten – checking his phone had been the furthest thing from his mind.

Now, seeing that he had worried so many people, something that he couldn't even really believe, made him feel bad about it.

"I…" Izuku trailed off, still not able to fully process that _so many people_ were obviously concerned for him. "I should… answer these…"

"Go on," Iida encouraged him with a tired smile. "You don't have any examinations in the next two hours, you have plenty of time."

Izuku's gaze fell on his friend's arm, still covered in bandages and gingerly pressed against his chest. Frowning, he offered, "I will stay until the results for your arm are here."

"That's not necessary, Izuku-kun."

"But, Iida-kun…!"

"Midoriya."

Izuku's head shot up in surprise as Todoroki addressed him directly. He was still unused to the other boy talking to him at all, even though… even though the boy had saved his life, he thought with a slight pang of guilt. He probably _should_ get used to it.

Todoroki seemed to contemplate his next words for a moment, before he slowly said, "I think you should answer those calls as soon as possible. I don't know much about such things, but I guess your family and friends are worried about you… so you shouldn't let them wait?"

" _I don't know much about such things…"_

Another pang shout through Izuku as he remembered that Todoroki had not contacted _anyone_ since being sent to the hospital. Sure, Endeavor had been with them when the ambulance arrived, so at least he knew where his son was, but apart from that…

"Todoroki-kun is absolutely right!" Iida exclaimed, saving Izuku from thinking too much about such dark things. The Tenya-heir was still pale and obviously tired, but this time, his smile was much more genuine than moments before. "You shouldn't let them wait, Midoriya-kun. And don't worry about me – I will be alright until you return, I promise."

"I can watch out for him in the meantime," Todoroki offered. "Until you're back, I mean."

Izuku looked from one to the others, still half a mind to argue with them, but both Iida and Todoroki looked at him with an expression that clearly said _Don't even try._

Sighing, he ducked his head for a moment, before he pushed himself to his feet, reaching for his crutch. After he had made sure that he wouldn't fall over again, he turned towards his friends, "Iida-kun, Todoroki-kun?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you, guys," Izuku managed a grin, hoping that it looked convincing enough.

Judging from the way his friends smile back at him, it probably did.

* * *

Once he had found a nice, quieter spot in the entrance hall, Izuku tried to decide which of his friends he should call first.

Finally, he decided that it probably would be for the best if he called only those really close to him. He sent those classmates who he wasn't so close with short texts, telling them that the message had been a mistake on his part and that they shouldn't worry about it. Also thanking them for their worry for him.

He tried to call Tsuyu and Mineta, but both didn't pick up. It didn't really surprise him – they were most likely working very hard right now, and he didn't want to disturb them. So he settled for a message. He sent them a more detailed and more truthful version about what happened, telling them shortly about his run in with the villain, but he tried to best to play it down, assuring them that they were all okay.

Only then did he try and call Uraraka.

Unconsciously, he had decided to first call his friends, then his mother, and only then his teacher. It seemed the better choice, somehow.

It felt as if he reserved those which he couldn't fool so easily for last.

 _She probably won't answer the phone, either,_ Izuku thought as the dial tone resounded a third time. _Her work probably already started…_

As if on cue, the dial stopped, interrupted by a frantic, familiar voice, " _Deku?!"_

Jolting in his seat, Izuku scrambled to tighten his grip on the phone, since he had almost dropped it in surprise. "U-Uraraka-san?"

" _Thank god!"_ Uraraka exclaimed, sounding as if she was close to tears, much to Izuku's shock. _"You have no idea how worried I were when I saw the news, talking about that whole incident, and there was a picture of Iida and you…!"_

"U-Uraraka-san, I…" Izuku tried to interfere, but she didn't even seem to hear him.

"… _they just said that a few teenagers had been caught up in the fight, and that they had been lightly injured – I mean, what do they mean with_ lightly, _that doesn't say_ anything, _and…"_

"Uraraka-san, wait, let me explain…"

"… _and then I remembered your message, and, you were trying to call for help, right, and I_ hadn't understood, _I'm so sorry, Deku…!"_

"Uraraka-san!" Izuku didn't care that he was attracting stares from the people around him, he just shouted her name, trying to get her to listen. "Please, _listen_ to me!"

There was a muted sound, much like a suppressed sob, before Uraraka said, much calmer than before. _"Okay. Sorry. I'm listening."_

Trying to sound as calming as possible, Izuku forced a smile onto his face, hoping that she would hear it in his words. "I'm sorry for worrying you, Uraraka-san. It's true, Iida-kun, Todoroki-kun and I were… kind of caught up in that whole incident."

(Better not tell her that they had rushed into that fight alone, he decided.)

A gasp followed his words, _"So you_ were _there! And Todoroki-kun, too?! Oh, Deku… are you okay?!"_

"Yes, yes! Don't worry, we didn't get injured… much," Izuku corrected himself while he looked at his bandaged hand and the crutch leaning next to him. "A few scratches, you could say. I'm not even sure if Todoroki-kun got hit at all… so don't worry!" He hurried to add. "We're alright! Sorry for worrying you, Uraraka-san."

" _Don't be! I'm just happy you two are alright,"_ Uraraka breathed out deeply, obliviously relieved. When she spoke next, she was slightly hesitant at first, before the words all but tumbled out of her mouth, " _Deku, Iida, when you… when that message came in with only your address, my heart started thumping like crazy… yeah, so… get some rest, okay? And let me hear more later."_

"Of course!" Izuku agreed, eager to assure her the best he could. "I will inform you after we get out of the hospital. It shouldn't be that long…"

He trailed off when he heard someone talk at the other end of the line, a muffled voice asking for _"Uravity"._

" _Ah, right!"_ Uraraka hurried to say, talking from farther away, obviously not talking to Izuku directly.

"Uraraka-san?" Izuku asked, suddenly having a notion. "Are you still at work?"

A nervous laugh told him that he got that right. _"Right! So, let's talk more at school, okay? Sorry I caught you at a bad time! Talk to you soon!"_

"Sure, talk to you soon…" Izuku repeated. Before he even caught to finish the sentence, the call ended, and he was left with a beeping sound in the line.

Blinking incredulously, he had to laugh slightly, muttering to himself, "I'm not the one who got caught at a bad time, though."

Ah, well. At least he had been able to tell her that everything was alright.

And he had had a phone call with a girl for the first time! The thought made Izuku almost giddy with excitement. It was the first time he had called a friend at all, and in this case it was a girl nonetheless. That just had to count as a success.

But, no time to dwell on that. The next call would be his mother.

Izuku gave himself a few moments to collect himself. He needed to be as calm and reassuring as he could be.

Only then did he dial the familiar number and waited until someone picked up.

His mother took the call after the first dial tone, voice strained and the single word rushed out in one breathe, _"Midoriya?"_

"Mum?" Izuku scratched the back of his head nervously, fighting to keep his smile upright.

" _Izuku!"_ His mother exclaimed his name so loudly that he almost cringed, but then again, he probably couldn't blame her. _"Oh, sweetie! I'm so glad to hear your voice! Are you alright? How are you?! The hospital said… oh good lord, I was so_ scared _when the hospital suddenly called me, telling me that you had been injured… sweetie, are you alright?!"_

"Mum, please, calm down! I'm okay, I really am!" Izuku tried, hunching into himself when he heard her sob – if it was relief or stress, he wasn't sure, but hearing his mother cry hurt him way too much. "Please, Mum, don't cry…"

There came another sob, but this time, it sounded as if a laugh was mixed in. _"Just listen to you, Izuku… you're the injured one, and yet_ you _are trying to calm_ me."

Izuku had to chuckle himself, glad that his mother was able to joke again already. "I'm not really injured, Mum. Just… a few scratches."

Absentmindedly, he rubbed the bandage around his thigh. It wasn't really a lie, right? He had been only stabbed once, and that wound wasn't even that deep.

" _Izuku?"_

"Ah, yes?" He snapped himself back to attention, telling himself that he had to listen what his mother had to say.

" _What exactly happened? Why did you get mixed up in that incident?"_

Uh-oh. Izuku took a calming breathe, thinking quickly. He couldn't tell his mother that he had raced after a killer all by himself… but he also didn't want to lie to her. So he had to be very careful about what to say.

"I was near that incident when it happened, just like my friends, so it just… kind of happened. It wasn't planned that we would be there," there that was mostly true. Giving his best to sound convincing, Izuku finished, "It was really just bad luck, Mum."

" _Mh-m,"_ his mother said, not sounding very convinced about it. _"So… it had nothing to do with your… whole hero-training?"_

Ah. So that was the real problem. Izuku closed his eyes for a moment, biting his lips.

"No, Mum," he said, still smiling, even though it was strained. "My teachers would never let me go after a real villain."

 _That's not a lie. I didn't lie to her._

"Really, my teacher was upset about the whole thing himself, and called it bad luck."

 _Actually, Gran Torino called it bad luck that he had to work with such a reckless boy._

"Next time, I probably should stay as far away from such incidents as possible, right?"

 _But I won't, and you probably know that, too._

A long, long pause followed after that, the silence only interrupted by the hitching, raspy breathes of his mother.

"…M-Mum?" Izuku asked finally, when he couldn't stand it anymore. "Mum, please, don't cry anymore. I'm really alright, I swear!"

" _You already said that, Izuku,"_ his mother's voice hitched on another sobbed chuckled. _"I'm just… I'm so glad. I was so, so worried."_

Now there was a lump in Izuku's throat, too, and he had to clear his throat in order to speak freely. "I know, Mum. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you."

" _Oh, silly. I know that!"_ Now she laughed for real, muffled, and Izuku could picture her, holding a hand to her mouth to stifle her laughter. The thought made him smile. _"But… watch out for yourself, please? I don't think I could take another shock like this."_

"Sure, Mum. And, hey, I will be back on Saturday, just like it was planned! I will cook dinner for you then. As atonement!"

When his mother laughed aloud at that and called him silly again, Izuku knew that he had succeeded. She wasn't crying anymore, and her worry was eased.

There was only small talk after that. Izuku did his best to joke or be silly, causing his mother to laugh more than once. Each chuckle he got out of her was counted as a success. She asked him again and again if he would call her after he was released from the hospital, in the evening, the next day, and when he was on the train home, and each time, Izuku assured her that he would, definitely, without fail, call her each time.

Finally, there was nothing more to be said. His mother paused, knowing just as well as he did that they would part ways now. But still, she hovered.

" _Izuku?"_

"Yes, Mum?"

" _I love you. And… please come home safe, okay?"_

Swallowing through his too tight throat, Izuku answered, honestly, "Love you too, Mum. And I will be careful, promise!"

Once they had said goodbye and ended the call, Izuku's smile fell of his face like a mask. Sighing deeply, he carded his uninjured hand through his hair.

He felt horrible for worrying his mother. He always felt bad when worrying others, but when that other was his mother, of all people…

Shaking his head, he decided that it wouldn't help if he dwelled on that now.

There was one last call he had to make.

All Might was still waiting for a sign from him.

* * *

Walking around outside of the hospital wearing just a hospital gown was probably not the best idea, but Izuku didn't know what else he should do. He couldn't just call All Might in the middle of the entrance hall, surrounded by people – as soon as he said the hero's name, there would be a tumult.

So here he was, shivering in the cold wind that spoke of approaching rain, knees drawn up to his chest, ducking in the shadows of the service entrance's door. The door said "Employees only", and there was no one around whatsoever, so this was perfect. He could take the cold, Izuku told himself as he dialled his mentor's number with shaky fingers. Just for a few minutes, he could stand it.

He kicked his uninjured leg while he waited. Perhaps he had called at a bad time, Izuku thought when the second dial tone resounded. All Might could be working, or in a teacher's meeting, or…

" _Yes?!"_

Izuku almost cringed under the sharp tone. Normally, All Might's voice when he picked up the phone was quiet, almost hesitant. Sometimes Izuku wondered if his idol was unused to being called at all, seeing as how gingerly he answered each call.

Now, however, the hoarse voice was sharp, almost impatient.

 _He probably doesn't know that it's me,_ Izuku reassured himself. Clearing his throat, he tried, "A-All Might? It's me, Izuku…"

The reaction was instant. There was a thump as if the hero had just hit one of his limbs against a surface, then a quiet, muttered curse, before he spoke again, clearly less moody than before, _"Midoriya, my boy! Finally, I was already… wait, wait just a moment, I need to find a quieter place for this…"_

"Ah, sure!" Izuku exclaimed, shifting his weight as he waited. His leg still hurt when he put too much weight on it.

There was some shuffling on the other end of the line, and the distinct _Click_ of a door being closed, before All Might spoke again. _"There we go, much better."_

"I'm sorry if I called at a bad time, All Might, but…"

" _Nonsense! I'm glad you called!"_

The simple statement sent Izuku's thoughts reeling, and to his own surprise, he could feel tears burning in his eyes. Odd, he thought as he rubbed his eyes determinedly, he had not cried when he had called his mother, so why would he now?

 _All Might was worried about me, too,_ a little part of him recognized, overwhelmed by that knowledge.

Fighting the urge to cry straight out like a little child, Izuku fought for a shaky smile, even managing a half-laugh, "R-Really? Ah, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you… or anyone, for that matter…"

" _Don't apologize,"_ All Might cut him off, not ungently. _"I'm just glad that you're safe. Tell me, my boy… I already heard what happened with the Hero Killer and all, but… how do you feel now?"_

Somehow, that question did it. Izuku shuddered, bottom lip trembling, as the tears filled his eyes and he choked on his breath.

 _How do you feel now?_

He had called all the others before All Might. When he had done so, he had not known why he kept his mentor for last, even though the man had tried to call him so often.

Now, Izuku all of sudden understood his own doing. Deep down, he had known that All Might would ask that one question that would break his calm and collected façade into pieces.

The others – his mother, Uraraka – they had asked _How are you?_ And _Are you alright?_

The whole time, Izuku had been able to pretend that they were talking about his physical well-being, and answered easily.

Now, though, his mentor asked for his mental well-being.

All Might, _All Might himself,_ had been worried about him, Izuku. _Genuinely worried._

The knowledge felt like a punch and a relief at the same time.

It was too much.

And the dam broke.

All the emotions Izuku had carefully pushed aside, making sure to smile and appear strong and cheerful as not to worry his family and friends – all of it came rushing back at once. The fatigue, the fear, the memories of pain and blood and helplessness crashed over him like tidal waves.

In the blink of an eye, the boy broke down completely.

"I… I was so scared!" Izuku sobbed, hunching over and curling into himself. His knuckles turned white where he gripped his phone too tightly, desperately, like a lifeline. "I couldn't move, I _couldn't,_ I tried to, I really did, but his quirk held me down and…"

Another sob ripped through him as the feared reared its ugly head up inside him again.

The moment when Stain had stepped over him, intending to end Iida's life. When Izuku had not been able to move, no matter how desperately he had tried. The utter helplessness he had felt, the horror of having to watch on without the option to do anything…

"I couldn't do anything," Izuku ended with a whimper, his throat too raw to speak clearly, his breathing so fast that he almost couldn't squeeze out the words in between.

There was silence at the other end of the line. Only slightly raspy breathing signalled that All Might was still there.

Izuku cried almost silently now, gasping for air in between the sobs. He had his free hand clamped over his mouth to stifle his noises, but that only made breathing harder.

" _Midoriya."_

The deep, soothing rumble managed to grab Izuku's attention, and he hiccupped slightly.

" _Midoriya, my boy, can you still hear me?"_

Izuku wanted to answer, but realized with a start that he wasn't able to. His throat felt too tight to draw breathe or form words, and there seemed to be a weight crushing his chest. He gasped helplessly, panic flooding him.

 _What is wrong with me?_

" _Midoriya,"_ All Might's voice suddenly turned sharp as he obviously caught on. _"Breathe. Take deep breathes now, my boy. You're starting to hyperventilate."_

Ah. Hyperventilating. He knew what that was, he had heard and read about it. He could even list symptoms and reasons for it. The rational facts helped Izuku to concentrate enough that he could draw a short, gasped breath.

" _It's the fear,"_ All Might explained, trying to sound calm and collected, even though Izuku could hear the tension in the familiar voice. _"It all comes rushing back to you, now that the danger is over and the adrenaline is gone. It's completely natural. Just keep breathing. Steadily, deeply. It will pass eventually."_

Izuku took another breathe, deeper this time. The facts and the familiar deep voice helped anchoring him.

He needed…

He needed his mentor to keep talking.

And as if he had heard the boy's silent plea, All Might did exactly that – talking. _"Just like that, my boy. Take a deep breathe, hold it for a moment, and then breathe out slowly again. Repeat that. Okay? Yes, like that. You're doing great."_

The little praise did the trick, easing the remaining pressure in Izuku's chest enough that he could breathe normally again. It still hurt, the breathing, because his throat was dry and raw, but at least he didn't feel like he would fall over any moment. Leaning his forehead against his drawn-up knees, Izuku stayed like that, concentrating on breathing and the soothing murmur coming from his phone.

After some sniffling, coughing and whipping away his remaining tears, Izuku finally squeaked out weakly, "I'm… I'm sorry."

All Might went silent for a moment, before he chuckled softly. _"Don't be, my boy. It's only natural that you're shaken after what you just experienced."_

"The worst part…," Izuku started without knowing what he was trying to say. "The worst part was that I couldn't do anything. I felt so… helpless."

" _Yes. Yes, that's a terrible feeling,"_ All Might agreed, an understanding in his voice that spoke of his own experience. _"Fearing for your life without being able to do anything about it is…"_

Izuku frowned, feeling that there was something wrong about that statement. Without thinking about how rude he probably was, he interrupted his teacher, "No that's… that's not it. I wasn't afraid of… of dying."

There was a long pause after that, before the hero asked, softly, " _What were you afraid of, my boy?"_

"I… I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to protect them. That my friends would die because I could not help them."

 _Say something,_ he silently begged his teacher when he didn't react instantly, _Please, just keep talking to me._

" _You, my boy, are a true hero."_

Under normal circumstances, Izuku would have probably been surprised, happy or even embarrassed by that statement, especially when it was uttered in such a tone (was that… pride?). Now, though, he merely blinked to do something against his burning eyes and muttered, "I don't feel like a hero."

" _No?"_

"No. I think…" Izuku stared at his free hand, balling it slowly before relaxing it again. He was still shivering all over, exhausted emotionally as well as physically. "I think if I really were a hero, like you, then… none of them would have gotten hurt."

Another long pause followed, making Izuku twitch with uncertainty and anxiety of what was to come.

Then, All Might huffed gently. When he spoke up, there was a soft smile audible in every word, _"Tell me, Midoriya, my boy – where are your friends now?"_

Blinking in surprise, Izuku involuntarily looked up, towards the hospital. "Um… back in the room they gave us, I think?"

" _How are they? Describe their injuries to me."_

"Oh, um… Iida-kun has been stabbed in both arms and they're still doing tests about that, I think, and he got kicked a few times. Todoroki-kun has a few scratches and some bruises…"

" _Is one of those injuries life-threatening?"_

Slowly, Izuku realized where this questioning was going, and he almost smiled, despite the emotional fatigue he felt. "No. Not one of them."

" _So their life is not in danger. They're safe?"_

"Yes," Izuku whispered, feeling relief settle in as if that fact only now occurred to him. "They're… they're _safe."_

" _Exactly."_

This time, Izuku really smiled, shaky but honest. A mixture of relief and gratefulness bubbled up inside him, warm and heady.

 _His friends were okay._

" _Even heroes like us cannot always prevent those around us from getting hurt, no matter how hard we try. But, my boy,"_ there it was again, that warmth, something that Izuku started to recognize as real pride, _"If you had not showed up there, if it hadn't been for you – at least two people would have died at the hands of the hero killer today."_

Izuku could still hear the smile in All Might's voice, and he latched onto the sound, feeling new, happy tears gather in his eyes as his mentor finished, _"You saved them, my boy. You are a real hero."_

Sniffling at that, Izuku rubbed his nose with the back of his hand, uttering a sound between an embarrassed little laugh and a sob.

A soft chuckle buzzed in the receiver. _"Still crying?"_

"I c-can't help it!" The boy defended himself, smiling weakly through his tears. "Now I'm just crying because I'm so relieved!"

" _Well, at least this time, it's because of something positive."_

They both chuckled at the same time, and it made Izuku feel marginally better. He even managed a full grin.

For a moment there was silence, only interrupted by Izuku's quiet sniffling and a few calming, muttered encouragements from All Might.

Finally, the hero started casually, _"That reminds me… how is the training with Gran Torino going? I hope he treats you well?"_

"Uh, yes," Izuku hurried to answer, glad for the change of subject, for the distraction. "He's a bit, uh… harsh? But I learned a lot from him already!"

" _Yes, that sounds like the Gran Torino I know,"_ All Might's chuckle sounded a bit nervous this time, and Izuku smiled in empathy – he remembered vividly how Gran Torino had described All Might's training. _"But don't be fooled by his behaviour. He's a bit harsh sometimes, but believe me, my boy – he cares more than most people."_

"Yes, he was… well, not _exactly_ nice, but he came for me when he realized that I had gone to look for the Killer alone. Oh, and he really helped me with my control over One for All!"

" _Really? That's great to hear. So you figured out how to control it in order to… not break your bones?"_

"Yes! I can't wait to show you! We…," Izuku trailed off, frowning as he suddenly realized something. _"_ Wait. Gran Torino didn't tell you about our training?"

A long pause followed, before All Might answered slowly, _"No. No, he didn't tell me anything."_

That was strange. Sure, there had been more important things to discuss after this incident, but Gran Torino could have at least mentioned to All Might that they were making progress…

" _In fact, we didn't talk at all,"_ All Might interrupted his thoughts, as if he was sensing that Izuku was confused about that. _"It's been years since we last talked to each other."_

"At… at _all?!"_ Izuku sputtered in surprise, blurting out the words in shock. "But, I thought – isn't he your former teacher? I thought you would, well, stay in contact with each other, or, at least after what happened now… Oh no, I'm sorry, I shouldn't pry so much, it's something between the two of you…!"

" _It's alright, my boy. I don't mind the questions,"_ All Might sounded strange, a mixture of amusement and fatigue, something almost nostalgic in his voice. _"But I'm not sure if my answers will satisfy your curiosity."_

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want…"

" _Fact is,"_ the man continued, plain out ignoring Izuku's feeble attempt. _"Gran Torino doesn't even own a phone. He… after some… things happened, he withdrew entirely from public and started to live alone. We lost contact over… over those things."_

Some things had happened. Izuku had to bite his lips to stop the questions – what things? What could have been so terrible that teacher and student lost contact, and one of them started to live a lonely life like that?

All Might cleared his throat, the sound nearing awkward, before he tried a cheery tone of voice. " _Well, I guess I should have tried to be a better student to him! I could have called him when I still had the chance, but… ah… well…"_

His mentor trailed off, and Izuku's heart squeezed painfully as he noted how _defeated_ All Might sounded. _Blaming himself,_ the boy recognized. He knew all too well, from his own experience, how bad one could feel because he beat himself up over something.

Determined to keep his mentor from his self-loathe, he blurted out without much thinking: "You can still do that!"

There was a pause after that, All Might probably surprised by the sudden outburst, but Izuku was so enthusiastic about his idea that he just kept going, "I mean… I don't know what happened between the two of you, but… I don't think it's too late or anything! Your still student and teacher - You can always start over! And since I'm your student and kind of Gran Torino's student, too, you now have the perfect opportunity to start a conversation! Right?"

Izuku bit his lips, starting to feel nervous when All Might didn't answer. Was he even still on the phone? He wouldn't just end the call, right?

The boy almost jumped in shock when a deep, hoarse laugh resounded through the phone.

Blinking, Izuku felt like pulling the phone away from his ear to stare incredulously at it, but he suppressed the urge. "U-Um… All Might…?"

" _You're really something else, my boy!"_ the laughter calmed down into quiet chuckles, but the amusement was still palpable in the hero's words.

"Um. Thank you?" Izuku wondered if his suggestion had been that funny. He had actually been serious about that.

As if he had read his thoughts, All Might sobered up quite fast after that, the last chuckles trailing off as he cleared his throat. _"Excuse me, my boy. I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing at myself, honestly. It seems that even an old man like me can still be taught a few things."_

That didn't really help to clear up Izuku's confusion, and all that he could think was, "You're not _old!"_

Another bout of laughter burst through the line, and even though he still didn't get what had caused the merry laughter, Izuku smiled hesitantly. He had not often heard All Might truly laugh – not the laugh reserved for reassuring those around him, but a true, full-belly laugh – and he had long since decided that he really liked the sound of it.

But still…

"Uh, does that mean you will call Gran Torino?" Izuku inquired hesitantly.

The laughter stopped abruptly this time, choked off all of a sudden. Quiet regret was audible in All Might's voice, _"I would, after that speech you just gave me, but… as I already said, Gran Torino doesn't own a phone, as far as I know."_

"Oh!" Izuku exclaimed, slightly disappointed about that. After some hesitating, overthinking and hesitating again, the boy blurted out, "I… I will ask Gran Torino if he can call you, then!"

"… _Well. I'm confident that he will actually listen if it's you."_

Izuku blinked at that, unsure why his mentor was so confident about that. After all, he was not the one who had known Gran Torino for a long time. But something about that warm, proud tone of his mentor's voice made him blush in embarrassment. He stammered something out along the lines of _I will try,_ and _Can't promise anything,_ trying to overplay his own awkwardness, even though a part of him craved to hear more praise and trusting words.

But All Might just chuckled, used to the boy's flailing and stammering by now.

Seeing that his mentor was clearly unfazed by his behaviour, Izuku trailed off and then had to laugh about himself. Probably he should just accept praise, once in a while.

" _You're laughing again,"_ All Might stated. _"That's good to hear."_

"Yes!" Izuku nodded, for a moment not remembering that the hero couldn't see him. Ducking his head slightly, smiling, he muttered, "Thank you, All Might."

" _I didn't do anything, my boy. That was all you."_

Izuku wanted to protest – All Might had been the one to calm him, to quiet him when he had felt close to breaking – but something in his mentor's voice left no room for arguments, so he let it slide.

" _When will you get out of the hospital?"_

"They want to do a few last tests before they release us from the hospital," Izuku checked the clock, adding, "My last examination is in an hour, but after that, I'm free to go."

" _Good,"_ All Might hummed, the sound making the line buzz slightly. _"Send me the test results when you have them?"_

"Sure!"

" _I will hear from you, then,"_ there was a pause, stretching until it became almost awkward, before, _"And, Midoriya?"_

Perking up at the hesitant tone, Izuku straightened himself and listened intently. "Yes?"

" _Come back safe, alright?"_

The question was such a surprise for Izuku that he almost dropped his phone, eyes going wide. Gaping uselessly for a moment, he finally found his voice again to answer, "O-Of course! I will be careful, I promise!"

" _I will take your word on that,"_ All Might chuckled. _"Hear from you later, then."_

"Yes! Talk to you soon!"

Izuku hurried to end the call after that, feeling awkward for stretching their farewell so long.

Pressing his forehead against his drawn-up knees, still clutching the phone, Izuku grinned, relieved.

He felt much better now than before the call.

* * *

As soon as the call ended, Toshinori all but sagged into himself. Burying his face in his hands, he allowed himself a deep, shuddery sigh.

The worry and fear that had seized him since he had heard about the Hero Killer incident had cloaked his throat and pressed down heavy onto him, making it almost impossible to breathe. Now, after hearing Izuku's voice, hearing that the boy was alive and well, he could finally relax again.

 _Holy shit,_ he thought with a wary smile, rubbing his palms over his face, _I think that cost me years of my life._

He had been worried about all three of his students. Those reckless boys, rushing after a grown _killer_ of all people – that was not pure courage, that was pure _recklessness_ , and Toshinori had thought his heart would stop when he had heard the news about U.A.-students getting caught up in the crossfire.

He had been worried about all of them, of course. But as soon as he had heard (from Naomasa, blessed be the policeman and his connections) that Izuku had been involved in the incident, Toshinori's whole attention had focused on his young successor and the constant thought process of _No, not him, not Izuku, let him be okay, please…_

The hours until Izuku had called him back had been pure agony. And when the boy finally had called, the relief had been so great that Toshinori had almost said something stupid.

It had already taken all of his strength and his acting skills to keep up his confident and calm façade while talking to the boy. Even more difficult had it been to change the words _Come home safe_ to the more tentative _Come back safe._

Granting himself a few more minutes to calm down completely, he tried to smile to himself as reassurance.

 _He's alright. Calm down, you old fool._

A slight _Crack_ shook him from his thoughts, and he blinked in surprise, looking at his hand.

He almost started to laugh at himself when he realized that he was gripping his phone so tightly that he was almost breaking the material.

Sighing to himself, Toshinori pocketed the phone again as he made to stand up and return to the teachers' office. If something would happen, he would hear about it. No need to be so anxious, he tried to tell himself.

(He still made sure at least three times that the volume on his phone was turned up as high as possible, should Izuku try to call or text him again.)

* * *

"What are you doing out here, boy?"

Izuku didn't even startle at the gruff voice.

Somehow, he wasn't surprised that Gran Torino was still here at the hospital, and had come looking for him.

" _He's a bit harsh sometimes, but believe me, my boy – he cares more than most people."_

Smiling slightly, he looked over at his newest teacher, on eye level with the man now that he was sitting. "Just had to answer a few calls."

Gran Torino lifted an eyebrow at him, huffing slightly. "Strolling around alone out here after you just had a run-in with a killer. You really are just as bad as All Might."

Izuku's smile only widened at that.

"I didn't mean that as a compliment," the old hero added instantly as soon as he saw the smile.

"I know," Izuku answered easily.

Their gazes interlocked. Perhaps it was just the boy's imagination, but for a moment, he thought he saw real amusement and something softer, warmer flash through Gran Torino's eyes.

The moment passed, though, and the man huffed again, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "Back to your room you go, boy. If I leave you out here, you will probably get into trouble _again."_

Izuku felt like chuckling at that, but he bit it back. He pushed himself off the ground, swaying slightly on his good leg before he got his crutch in position. As soon as he had found his balance, he followed Gran Torino, who was already on his way towards the hospital.

For an old man with short legs, Gran Torino was surprisingly swift on his feet. Izuku had to hurry to keep up with the man as they strode through the doors, the entrance hall behind it and down the hallway towards their room.

Turning corner after corner, Izuku fought to keep up, not lose his balance and gather his courage all at once.

How should he start? _Um, Gran Torino, would you be so kind as to call All Might, since, you know, he was your student once?_

That didn't sound very convincing.

But with each turn, they came closer to the boys' room where they would part ways again.

 _Now or never,_ Izuku told himself, just when they had reached the last hallway.

"Um, Gran Torino?"

"Hmmm?"

"When are you going to call All Might?"

The question had more impact than he would have thought. Gran Torino stopped walking so abruptly as if he had been frozen in place. Turning slowly, the retired hero fixed Izuku with a piercing gaze – the same gaze he had shown right at the beginning of their training, when he had refused to let Izuku back out of his house. "What did All Might tell you?"

Izuku stopped, too, leaning heavily on his crutch. "He… he didn't tell me anything."

"Doesn't fool me, boy. You wouldn't ask that if he hadn't said anything."

"Just that you two hadn't talked about…"

"And there is no reason to. You already told him everything he needs to know, didn't you."

"But…!"

"No buts, boy. There is no reason for me to call him if you already told him every-…"

"He is your student!"

Izuku didn't even care that he had raised his voice, nor did he care about the sharp, angry glance that got him from Gran Torino. One hand clutching his crutch, the other balled into a fist, he stared the retired hero down, not budging an inch. The fact that teacher and student wouldn't even talk to each other simply made no sense to him. If they had had a relationship even remotely close to that of All Might and Izuku, then… then they had all the reason in the world to want to talk to each other.

"Would you _keep your voice down?!"_ Gran Torino hissed, looking around quickly to check that nobody was in the hallway with them. "There is no reason for the whole world to know who All Might's teacher was…!"

"Why won't you talk to him?" Izuku demanded to know, not knowing himself where he got the courage from. "He is your student, is he not?"

"He _was_ my student, he doesn't need me anymore…!"

"But you can still talk to him!"

"You have no idea what you're talking about!" Gran Torino boomed, not caring about his own volume anymore. "You don't know the _least thing_ about what happened, boy, not the _least…!"_

"What did he do to you?" Izuku pressed own, gritting his teeth – part of him was appalled that he dared to talk to someone in this way, but he wouldn't give up now. "What could have been so bad that you won't even talk to him?"

"What he did…?" the question seemed to catch Gran Torino off-guard. His tense stance loosened slightly. He looked more tired than angry. "He didn't do anything wrong. This is not about him or me… just about… what was lost."

There was that weirdly nostalgic tone to Gran Torino's voice, the same All Might had had, Izuku noted. This was a delicate subject to handle, Izuku realized. One wrong word, and he could do more damage than he could even fathom now.

"You're right. I have no idea what happened," Izuku confessed after a moment, carefully. "I just know that… I think that All Might and you… you both lost the same? I'm not sure about that, I mean, I'm just guessing here, but if it's true, and if you two lost the same, then…"

Izuku trailed off, glancing at Gran Torino nervously. The old man was staring at him, his expression giving nothing away if he was really listening or not.

Taking a deep breathe, Izuku pushed onwards, finishing, "Then wouldn't that be all the more reason to talk to each other? Perhaps it would… help?"

For a moment, he thought he had really reached Gran Torino with that. The hero seemed to sag further into himself, stance more tired rather than dismissive and his gaze didn't hold as much steel as before. But then, he made one last attempt at keeping Izuku's words at bay.

"And you actually think that this concerns you in any way?" Gran Torino's voice was cold and sharp.

There was nothing amused or warm in the man's eyes anymore, and for a moment, Izuku threatened to falter under that gaze. Old insecurities resurfaced, and part of him wanted to cover and apologize for being so forward…

" _I'm confident that he will actually listen if it's you."_

All Might's words rang in Izuku's head, clear like a bell, and the surge of fear and self-awareness was washed away by them. Instead, determination welled up inside the boy. He had promised that he would get Gran Torino to call his mentor, and he intended to _keep_ that promise.

Squaring his shoulders that had sagged in defeat before, head held high and jaw set, Izuku met Gran Torino's gaze and answered loud and clear, "Yes, I do believe that it _does_ concern me _."_

His sudden confidence seemed to confuse the old man greatly. Gran Torino's icy glare faltered, surprise flickering over his expression. Eyes widening a fraction and mouth opening and closing a few times, uselessly, Gran Torino seemed at a loss for words for a moment.

Then, the man blinked, and… snorted, of all things. A wary smirk tugged at his lips as he grumbled, "Gods above, he really found a stubborn one."

Again, the words didn't really sound like a compliment or nice at all, but Izuku took them as positive nonetheless. He even dared to grin at the retired hero.

Gran Torino sized the boy up for a moment, before he grunted. "Will you get off my back if I call All Might?"

"Yes!" Izuku exclaimed instantly, basically beaming.

One corner of Gran Torino's mouth twitched upwards slightly, before the man turned and resumed his walk as if nothing had happened.

Blinking in surprise, Izuku hesitated for a moment, before he followed as fast as he could with this still shaky leg. "So, um…"

"I will think about it," Gran Torino answered without turning around or waiting for the whole question.

Smiling slightly, Izuku let the matter go. It wouldn't help to push it now.

The rest of their walk passed in silence, until they reached the door to the boys' room.

Gran Torino stopped in front of it, gesturing for Izuku to go on in. "Well? I'm not going to hold your hand all day, boy. You will manage this last few inches alone."

"A-Ah, right!" Izuku stopped in front of the door, suddenly wary. He had almost forgotten about Iida's examination over everything that had happened. Hopefully his friend was alright… what if he could never use his arm again, or…?

"Boy."

Startling, Izuku swivelled around towards Gran Torino again. "Y-Yes?"

"Wipe that frown off your face," Gran Torino grumbled, even though he was frowning himself. "Did All Might teach you nothing?"

"Huh? What do you…?" Izuku trailed off, trying to guess what the eccentric old man meant by that.

And then, it hit him.

He almost slapped one hand to his forehead – of course!

Rubbing both palms down his face, Izuku took a moment to collect himself, before he managed a wide, real smile. "Like this?"

"Much better," there it was again, the slightly softer look on Gran Torino's face, before the man turned away. "I will come pick you up later. Don't get into trouble until then!"

"I won't!" Izuku called after him.

He made sure that Gran Torino was out of view before he turned towards the door again. He took a deep breath and straightened himself.

 _Weird,_ he thought with a crooked smile. Even though his injuries were still hurting and he was limping ever so slightly, he felt oddly safe right now. With the experiences of the last half hour and his phone a reassuring weight in his pocket, reminding him of a whole list of people who were ready to gush and worry over him and to protect him, he was able to smile completely honestly.

 _How do you feel now?_ All Might had asked right at the start of their conversation, and now, Izuku could answer him,

 _Quiet. Calm._

He probably would call All Might again, later, just to tell him that. And to say thank you again.

But for now, he pushed the door open, ready to face what lay behind it.


End file.
